Oh, Child Walk On The Water

I cant wait, cant wait! I want to swim around like a little fish with my Daddy. Mommy tells me I’m a natural; Daddy says I’m a little fish! I’m going to get my bathing suit on and wait for Daddy to get home from work; he won’t be able to tell me no. Because I’m his punkin pie. “Me, age 5”

Do you love to swim? I do. I was drawn to the water as a child. It was second nature for me. My feet would magically turn into flippers. But first, I had to overcome my fear. My Dad would hold me on his back when he swam. I had to build the courage to swim on my own. He would dive underwater and touch the bottom of the floor, gliding along the pool’s bed, with me holding his neck tightly and grasping his back with my legs. I had first-hand experience. My Dad taught me well. It was time for me to show my trust in him. 

Are you ready, Crystal, my Dad, asks; he is a bit scared to release me. I’m ready, Daddy! Throw me in! I feel the cold waters rush over me as I look up; the sting of chlorine causes my eyes to be blurry. But I see him, standing there looking down at me, waiting for me to come up, or he’s jumping in. I came up for air and started moving my feet and arms around. I looked up at my Dad and found an expression that I would hold dearly for the rest of my life; he was excitedly proud of me. I had done it, overcame my fears, and learned to swim all at once. I felt empowered and swam my little heart away. I had learned to swim by being thrown in the water by my Father. The term to walk on water is described as such ” to perform an impossible God like task”. Sometimes faith and trust feel like God like qualities, because they are. It is difficult as adults to have faith when we have experienced traumas. It is difficult to have trust when the world and many in it, show us otherwise. Trust is earned, even with God. There is no doubt in my mind that our Elohim has proven trustworthy. The questions we must ask ourselves is, can I see His qualities with out any of my own insecurities getting in the way? Can I see my God regardless of people’s wrongdoings?

27 But immediately, Yeshua spoke to them, saying, “Take courage! I am. Don’t be afraid.” 28 Answering, Peter said to Him, “Master, if it’s You, command me to come to You on the water.” 29 And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to go to Yeshua. 30 But seeing the wind, he became terrified. And beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, “Master, save me!” Matthew 14:27-30

The faith of a child is truly a wonder. Faith requires trust. Both require a childlike heart and mind. I trusted my Dad. I knew he would shelter me from harm. I knew that he would hold me in times of distress. I knew he loved me. I recently did a small study on the word trust. I wanted to understand what it meant to trust Adonai like I had trusted my Dad. I learned that there are at least four meanings for trust; one is Amen, which means to agree with( Jeff Benner). If you’re interested in reading more about the various meanings, click the link below. In the following verse, I noticed Yeshua agreeing with the words spoken. I began to ponder who He was in agreement with.

2 And He called a child to Himself, set him in the midst of them, 3 and said, “Amen, I tell you, unless you turn and become like children, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever then shall humble himself like this child, this one is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in My name, welcomes Me. Matthew 18:2-5

I’ve been binge-watching the Chosen. I had previously watched before but felt led again to refresh my memory. While listening to the opening credits, I became overwhelmed with Adonai. I wept and praised Him. The lyrics to the song awakened an old memory, and the little fish reminded me of who I am. I was mourning. I missed my earthly Dad. A few years after our moment at the pool, he passed away, and I was never the same. How could I be? As a child, I felt the piercing of death. Where did my trust go; to Sheol- the grave. It wasn’t until my older age I began to understand the living waters of resurrection, Yeshua! I was reminded to jump in the water. Especially when I’m scared, do it. Wrap my arms around Abbas’ neck and lean into Him as I take the plunge of faith into the overwhelming seas of life. 

29 For You light up my lamp. Adonai my God shines in my darkness. 30 For with You I rush on a troop, with my God I scale a wall. 31As for God, His way is perfect. The word of Adonai is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. 32 For who is God, except Adonai? And who is a Rock, except our God? 33 God girds me with strength and makes my way straight. 34He makes my feet like those of deer and makes me stand on my heights. 35 He trains my hands for battle, so my arms can bend a bronze bow. 36 You gave me the shield of Your salvation. Your right hand upholds me, Your gentleness makes me great. 37 You broaden my steps beneath me, so my ankles have not slipped. Psalm 18:29-37

I trust you, Father, because you have taught me well. I hope Our Heavenly Father looks down at me with the same expression that once strengthened me, excitedly proud. If today you are struggling with your faith and trust in Adonai, Our God. Just remember healing comes in waves. We are human and make mistakes. Nothing can come between our Father’s love for us except for ourselves. Allow yourself to heal and mourn. Feel what you need to feel. Ask God the hard questions. Then jump in the water. You never know who needs the keys to what once bound you. Walk on the water.

Oh, child, come on in Jump in the water 

Got no trouble with the mess you been

Walk on the water ~ Chosen Theme Song~

I don’t own the rights to the video. While I enjoyed watching The Chosen, I do not agree with each episode.

Works cited:

https://www.ancient-hebrew.org/studies-words/hebrew-words-for-trust.htm

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/walking-on-water

A Sunflowers Parable

Velvet Queen Sunflower

If there were ever a flower to showcase my soul, 

the sweet sunflower is where I would go.

Allowing the sweet morning dew to

saturate me, I want all of you.

Your glorious waters fall from above,

fill me with your love.

With its various colors and luminous rays of light,

in its youth turning its head to find what is bright.

With maturity it has no reason to search,

no longer needing to chase or be found.

For the light is bound in everything around,

make me like the sunflower.

At my core there is a light.

One must search the different shades of being,

from the outside there is a mix of golden hues 

a depth of mystery.

Within my foundation is my life’s own history.

Written on my petals you will find

life’s mistakes and empty tombs.

Precious oil and rejuvenated blooms.

Study these shades and you will see

everything that has been, is written in me.

Evening Sun Sunflowers

I’ve been in the garden this season. I’m blessed to have a variety of produce fruiting in the midst of the high desert. A challenge it has been for sure, but life supports life. The garden teaches me more about myself and life’s journey than I could imagine. Who’s growing who, I ask myself as I ponder the weeds and seeds. The bees and hornets. The scorching sun and cool breeze. I’ve been journaling my season of growth through my garden experiences. I pray these ponderings bless you.

The beautiful and sweet morning glory is getting ready to bloom as the sunrise begins to tickle its blossoms. Such a beautiful flower, ready to open up with the slightest of light’s touch. With names like sunrise serenade, heavenly blue, and morning star, who wouldn’t want these growing in their garden! And yet, they have a dark side that many gardeners know all too well. To some growers, morning glories are welcome to vine wherever they choose, and to other gardeners, they mustn’t be planted or tolerated outside their designated space.

As lovely as they are, morning glories are considered invasive and poisonous to animals and small children. They drop seeds wherever they are and sprout up everywhere. If the seed pods that resemble mini grenades are eaten in large amounts, they can cause hallucination effects like LSD to little children, which can cause young ones to trip. How many seed bombs we drop makes all the difference. Do we drop Torah bombs with great zeal on the little ones? I hear an echo- Peter (little stone) feed my sheep. ~John 21:17~ I pray we don’t get grieved by being asked to feed more cautiously, more maturely.

They will take over garden beds and cause the other florals and fruit to bow lowly as they vine up the unsuspecting plant and spread out in usurping fashion. Sending out sweet blossoms to adore, yet silently suffocating those planted closest to them. I adore the heart-shaped leaves of the glories in the morning. Yet sometimes, I have to uproot them quickly to enjoy the fruit of my labor and allow the other seeds planted to grow to maturity. I have to look past the various hues of lovely and remember that even though I love the idea of a wild garden, a food forest growing together, even in the wildest of growth, there is a natural order of things. Mourning before Morning. Do we see ourselves in the fullness of the Master of lights?

My sunflower being overtaken by a morning glory vine.

I ponder these things as I pull out the invasive blossoms from my cucumbers and sunflower patch. I look at the vines taking over my flower garden and wonder, why must you shine more brightly? Why must I? Has this mourning glory caused the morning’s glory to fade? We can be like these blossoms, they are beautiful and welcome, yet if not kept in order, they will slowly take over everything sowed. Not allowing others to grow because we must be the morning’s glory. The morning light that is too bright or unyielding can bring mourning to those still learning to establish roots and take in the Son’s rays.

Yet, on the flip side, these lovelies, when appropriately trained, can provide ground cover for cracked soil and vine-up dead trees bringing new life! They can give a sweet message with every heart-shaped leaf and open flower to the weary at heart. Life is a contranym. We learn best when we balance the light and darkness in our lives. So much this little garden of mine is teaching me. Everyone has their place in this world. Knowing who we are and our purpose makes all the difference. May we grow where we are planted and vine where we are needed. May our heart leaves mend lost souls and bring lovely shades of blossoms to the faint-eyed.

I love you more than me

As I write this blog, I hope a sweet release comes upon the prophets of Adonai. The time to go forth and function in your role is here. May we remain humble in this journey. For those reading who are not prophets or don’t believe the office still exists, I ask you to read with unbiased eyes and a heart to understand. Just because the prophet is misunderstood doesn’t mean they don’t exist. There are many immature prophets in modern times; please don’t let that taint your view. We can’t erase people just because of a misunderstanding of the Word.

Around five years ago, I became pregnant with my sixth child. We had five boys, and this pregnancy was a surprise. In my mind, I was finished having children, oh but Abba had other plans. I had desperately wanted a daughter right after our first child was born. I watched as the sonogram revealed another sweet boy to add to our tribe with each pregnancy. I was filled with gratitude for these boys of mine; they stole my heart every time, and yet a longing for a daughter’s soft and gentle presence. We finally received a precious daughter, and I remember hearing the Father name her, “Lila Rose, a sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place.” I knew she would bring much joy and laughter to the lives she touched; feeling her excitement to be alive in my belly was confirmation. Let’s fast forward to the present time. She has truly lived up to her name in this short time. I was telling my sweet Lila Rose that I love her. She looked at me and said words that stopped me in my tracks. I love you more than me, Mom.

Her words unlocked doors I was unaware of in my soul. I pondered many things. I found my mind thinking about prophets. I thought about these fiery men and women—their words and how we see them. I felt a sting in my heart. Tears rolled down my face, dropped to the ground, and quickly disappeared into the dirt—the most misunderstood role in the body. Yeshua was the spirit of prophecy and notably one of the most hated men to walk the Earth. Yeshua wept. He still prays on our behalf. As the tears stopped, a change came over me; I felt freedom and warmth. I understood the call and felt the journey. A sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place had me looking to the sky. But why? Because I love you more than me. 

10 Then I fell down at his feet and worshiped him. But he said to me, “See that you do not do that—for I am only a fellow servant with you and your brothers and sisters who hold to the testimony of Yeshua. Worship God! For the testimony of Yeshua is the Spirit of Prophesy.” Revelation 19:10

41 As He drew near and saw Jerusalem, He wept over her, Luke 19:41

20 “I pray not on behalf of these only, but also for those who believe in Me through their message, 21 that they all may be one. Just as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You, so also may they be one in Us, so the world may believe that You sent Me. 22 The glory that You have given to Me I have given to them, that they may be one just as We are one— 23 I in them and You in Me—that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me and loved them as You loved Me. John 17:20-23

As we study the prophets, we have this vision of rough men who have knives for fingers and mantles as sharp as sickles, ready to send us to the depths of Sheol with their condemnation. Their words penetrate callused hearts and awaken anger in men they didn’t know they had. We wrestle with their preconceived arrogance and judgmental views. Yet, in secret places, they weep. They are pleading for the rejection to cease so their voice may be heard, may changes occur from the heart, is the thought. Begging mercy, for we know not what we do, Abba. Have pity, Adonai, for the house of Jacob is small. Then suddenly, we hear go out and speak to my children- an echo of daunting words found in the prophet’s soul. As the prophet has knelt down before Adonai, a humbled mess, they now must stand firm, like adamant, and speak the heart of Elohim to those they were praying for, and this includes themselves. Knowing full well they are just as sinful as the next. Having endured the message’s trial, they must now be tested after delivery. This cycle goes on until the prophet sleeps and is no more. But why? Because we learn to love you more than me.

60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” After he said this, he died. Acts 7:60

3 “Adonai Elohim, please pardon! How can Jacob stand, for he is small?”

 Adonai relented concerning this. “It shall not be,” Adonai said. Amos 7:3

The prophet then and now is shaped and built to love so fiercely and so strongly that they are more than willing to lose their lives, friendships, titles, and more if it means seed of hope and resurrection is planted in the hearts of those they just pierced. If there were ever a walking contradiction, that is a prophet. They appear one way to humanity, but Abba knows who they are deep inside. Eventually, they stop trying to explain their identity and walk in it. Knowing the losses they suffered and the new ones to come, they make their faces like flint after the sorrows roll away. Prophets are not done away with, nor are they waiting to return. We are here, learning and enduring. Prophets need to find other prophets to learn with, grow, and mature. In Scripture, they had the school of the prophet. We need to learn from seasoned prophets balanced in all of Scripture, Torah, and the New Testament. Without this balance, prophets are not mature enough to speak with circumcised tongues. I would like to invite you to read more on the prophets and the office of the prophet at my dear friends website Tekoa Also, if you haven’t already check out our YouTube channel for prophets: Elijah’s Prophetic Cup.

If this blog has ministered to you, reach out. Let’s connect, prophets need each other. This walk is not for the faint of heart or the immature. As iron sharpens iron, may we do so in the counsel of the wise and balanced. May the prophets of Adonai come forth with circumcised lips and hearts refined, like a sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place, because we have learned to love you more than me.

9 As ointment and perfume gladden the heart,

so the sweetness of one’s friend comes from his sincere counsel.  

17 As iron sharpens iron,

so a person sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:9,17

Shabbat’s Delightful Cries

Delight (something or someone that gives) great pleasure, satisfaction or happiness:

Shabbat has been on my mind for a while. I have been pondering and searching for the meaning of delighting in Shabbat. We are told that Shabbat is a delight, and I agree. But there are times that the meaning of delight is lost for me and a new sense appears. Or at least a new perception or facet of this set apart day. I’m a busy homeschooling mother of six who helps manage a small family business and ministry needs Quiet and relaxing rarely show their faces in my day to day life. I’m a firm believer that Adonai’s set apart times are unique and faceted, just like Him. The way that we set these days apart will not look the same as the next person. Isn’t that beautiful, though!? Our Elohim (God) is not a cookie-cutter God. I’m willing to bet that all the tribes that camped around the Tabernacle and eventually in Jerusalem, scattered around Israel and the world, did not keep Adonai’s feasts the same. But they did ensure to stay within the boundaries of the Torah when doing so. Shouldn’t we mimic this model of freely observing set apart times? I recently had a Shabbat experience that reshaped my vision of delight. I woke up like every other day, rolling out of bed, messy-haired, ready for my coffee. Prepared to wrestle with my own ideas of Shabbat and keeping it. I thought about an old friend of mine and wondered how she was doing. As my day progressed, I kept thinking about her. I couldn’t shake it. I knew I had to reach out to her, and I’m glad I did. She responded, and I sensed she needed someone to talk with. Sometimes people need us to take space and sit with them. We ended up getting together and chatting. She told me how she had been crying out to God the previous night. Her tears were cradled in His hands. We wept together on Shabbat. We laughed and felt many emotions that didn’t look like delight to those observing. We ministered to each other in unique ways. As our meeting ended, I realized I had found what I was searching for. 

Delight yourself in Adonai,

and He will give you the requests of your heart. Psalm 37:4 TLV

I found delight wrapped like a comforter in a woman pleading mercy from Adonai. Before my heart’s requests could be fulfilled, I realized that I had to align myself with Adonai’s heart. My heart’s desires changed once I opened up to Abba’s delight. My friend isn’t Torah observant; that doesn’t matter to Elohim. Why should it be to us? But she knows God, and He sees and knows her. My day wasn’t quiet and relaxing. It was full of emotions and pleadings for Adonai to send those who would help her in her time of need. To help me in my desperate need of understanding. Yeshua healed on Shabbat; he fed the hungry, clothed the needy, loved the hurting. Yeshua fulfilled it all in the natural and spiritual sense, especially on Shabbat. My delight was and is found in doing the same. We can’t worship Shabbat. We can’t be idle on the needs of others. When we do, we are breaking Torah. Does spiritual healing and feeding cease because it’s Shabbat? I’m not suggesting we stop observing Shabbat in our own ways; I’m simply sharing how multi-faceted we each are. We should not feel shame for thinking we broke the commandments if we were ministering or being ministered to. Yeshua showed us the true meaning of Shabbat. There’s freedom when the yoke of man is peeled away—showing us the delight of Adonai. Healing took place for me this Shabbat. I felt gut-wrenching sorrow intertwined with a deep-seated love. I needed ministering too. I needed to be transparent and down to earth with Abbas’s daughter. Set apart doesn’t mean too holy for any earthly good. I’m starting to believe that set apart is being real, raw, and vulnerable about who Yeshua is in our lives. Our struggles and victories. This is what all people need, a real connection—no façade of being perfect but genuine humanness of learning to be like our Messiah. I think to myself, what will I do now to keep this new found flame ablaze? I found a treasure and I don’t want to loose it. There are many people hurting in this world. How can I use my gifts, breath and self to sit with them? How about you? I pray your Shabbats are delightful and that you don’t struggle to live up to some faulty image, but the image of Yeshua. However that may look for you in your journey.

Works cited:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/delight

Doest Thou Correct Me?

Prophets get a bad wrap at times. However, I can see why. If someone were to ask you if you knew a prophet of Adonai, what would be your answer? There is much to ponder and sift through. Most think of Prophets and cringe. We read about them in the Bible, strong-faced men and women, adamant and strong-willed. The Biblical prophets never used their authority to sway the people or push their weight around. I think we get confused on what a prophet is because most “profits” (pun intended)we see roaming around today aren’t anything like the Biblical accounts we read about. Let’s take a walk with a few of these fiery men to get a better look into the heart of a prophet. We must remember that prophets are built and knitted together. Initially, they try to run from the call. Elijah was called a troubler of Israel, yet He was sent to correct the passive King Ahab. Let’s dissect what went down before one of the greatest showdowns we have ever read about between Elohim and the baalim.

” Now when Ahab saw Elijah, Ahab said to him, “Is it you, the one who causes trouble for Israel?” But he answered, “I have not troubled Israel. Rather, it is you and your father’s house—by forsaking the mitzvot of Adonai and going after the Baalim” (1 Kings 18:17-18).

Oh Ahab, why couldn’t you see that it was Adonai that had sent this “troubler”? What we see in others is first found in ourselves. Ouch! The prophet endures many crushing’s and desert seasons before Adonai sends them out among the people. Those seasons of pruning’s and refining’s give the prophet the assignment and prepare him to correct his brothers and sisters. I think many view the prophet as harsh, hypocritical, or judgmental. But if we don’t understand the process of making a prophet, we will see with a dark lens. It’s funny how we think it is the prophet coming as a stink eye, yet because of the lack of understanding of the prophet, it was the people who needed corrective lenses. It is wise we remain humble and teachable. Who sent the prophets? Let’s see. 

“Now it was after many days that the word of Adonai came to Elijah in the third year saying, “Go, show yourself to Ahab; then I will send rain on the land. So Elijah went to show himself to Ahab” (1 Kings 18:1).

 “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” He said, “Go and tell this people” (Isaiah 6:8-9).

” The word of Adonai came to him during the days of King Josiah of Judah, son of Amon, in the thirteenth year of his reign”(Jeremiah 1:2). 

” This is what the Lord says: (Amos 1:3).  

I want to back up a bit and go back to Isaiah 6. Something exciting takes place here. Isaiah sees a sight he will never forget. Prophets hear. The prophets see. Their senses are heightened because of everything they have endured in the night. Whether Isaiah was in a trance, had a vision, or was in a dream, he saw. 

” In the year of King Uzziah’s death, I saw Adonai sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the Temple” (Isaiah 6:6).

Can you imagine seeing six-winged, flying, fiery serpents that are passionately preaching holy, holy, holy? My heart paused for a second. In the presence of Elohim, I could not stand; could you? Then we read that one of these fiery ones, the seraphim, brings a lump of hot coal from the altar and puts it to Isiah’s lips. But before all this, Isaiah humbly cries out: 

Oy to me! For I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5).

This introspection is the epitome of a prophet. They cry out day and night to El. They know they are not perfect, holy, or clean. They also know they are sent to a stubborn house. Amos and others cried, “Who will listen to me? I’m just a farmer; I am slow to speak.” Yet, the Holy One knows all this and still confides the most intimate, bittersweet riddles to His prophets. 

Adonai knows His prophets in the most profound sense of knowing! The mature prophet weeps in the hiding places of their caves. Then, when it is time, they appear with a deep-seated love that appears in the form of “harsh” correction and judgment. But is it? The one sent to correct must search the heart. Those that are corrected must search the heart. Is this too for our good? 

“And I am dwelling among a people of unclean lips.

For my eyes have seen the King, Adonai-Tzva’ot!”

 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, with a glowing coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it and said:

“Behold, this has touched your lips. Your iniquity is taken away, and your sins atoned for” (Isaiah 6:5-6)

See how Isaiah first shares his condition before sharing the state of his fellow people? In every story of a prophet, if we look close enough, we can see the humbling before the call to correct the body. Interesting, isn’t it? We must start to look at the body with all its offices (roles) the same way Adonai looks at it. Otherwise, we will not understand the voice of the prophet. We don’t see or hear what the prophet endures behind the scenes; we judge them as harsh by what we see in front of us. Some have had fiery coals placed on the lips to appease the iniquity. 

Our life lessons teach us how to minister to others. If my lips weren’t unclean, I wouldn’t have the authority to share how important it is to have clean lips—no lashon hara (evil tongue). But maybe what we think of as evil speech is a correction from Adonai? Love is correction. 

What are the prophets always saying? Come back to your first love! Why does this deeply offend people? I get confused, honestly. I have been corrected in my life many times, and each time it was painful to acknowledge my flesh issue. But because someone loved me enough to correct me, I could see. I could see how my ego was causing harm. I could see how my heart desired what it wanted, regardless of the cost to others and myself. I could see how my Abba longed to be echad (one) with me. Abba, we are a people of unclean lips, yet we are your holy priests! Duality at its best.  

Isaiah says something so brave: Hineni, hineni! Here I am, send me! Hahaha, I have to laugh because he is eager to serve Adonai of Hosts yet has no clue of the assignment. Adonai now gives the assignment. Can you relate? 

Then He said: “Go! Tell this people: ‘Hear without understanding, and see without perceiving.’ Make the heart of this people fat, their ears heavy, and their eyes blind. Else they would see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return, and be healed” (Isaiah 6:9-10).

Meme was found on Pinterest, I don’t own the rights to this image

 Did you spot the prophetic language: hear, understand, see, perceive, ears, eyes. It has always fascinated me how the prophet is a walking contranym, contradiction-a green stop sign, anyone? The prophet is an enigma for those witnessing the prophet and a surreal lifestyle for the prophet. The prophetic one is always trapped between the heavenly realm in awe and fear of what they see and hear from the Holy One. The prophet, though human, is trying to convey this spirit-filled message to their brothers and sisters. We must remember,

“Elohim is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24).

There is so much pain the prophet feels from all sides. I hope this blog has helped you understand the prophet a little more. This is just the tip of the iceberg or the entrance to the cave if you will. Please be more understanding with the Prophets assigned to you. Use wisdom when dealing with immature prophets; we all need correction.

Words in the Dirt

I want to dedicate this short writing and poem to all of God’s children who are hurting and feeling broken; due to the authoritative figures in their lives, whether parents, spouses, family members, religious figures, or government officials. God sees you. 

But Yeshua went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, He came again into the Temple. All the people were coming to Him, and He sat down and began to teach them.

The Torah scholars and Pharisees bring in a woman who had been caught in adultery. After putting her in the middle, they say to Yeshua, “Teacher, this Woman has been caught in the act of committing adultery. In the Torah, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?” Now they were saying this to trap Him, so that they would have grounds to accuse Him.

But Yeshua knelt down and started writing in the dirt with His finger. When they kept asking Him, He stood up and said, “The sinless one among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then He knelt down again and continued writing on the ground.

Now when they heard, they began to leave, one by one, the oldest ones first, until Yeshua was left alone with the Woman in the middle. 10 Straightening up, Yeshua said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

11 “No one, Sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Yeshua said. “Go, and sin no more.”

As you read John 8:1-11, I want you to place yourself in this Woman’s shoes. For a moment, let’s take the gender away and focus on grief and shame. In God’s kingdom, men and women are spoken of as the bride. I am not condoning transgenderism here. I am simply trying to share something hidden in this verse. The authorities place this “sinful woman” in the middle of a large group over the congregation. When I read this, I teared up because I have been in this situation. Aren’t we all this Woman? 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

Yeshua was showing these authorities, and they are no different from the Woman. What grieved my soul was verse 6- they wanted to trap Yeshua. They wanted to stone, behead, crucify him. We don’t need sharpened rocks aimed at our broken-down souls; we need Torah and mercy together. Don’t you find it interesting that the authorities immediately knew that they couldn’t cast a stone from the oldest to the least, they all left. Didn’t Moses say they could? Ah, the deeper things in Torah shine through because Yeshua was the light. Please don’t let men’s words cause you to stumble and fall more; we all sin—even those behind podiums and microphones. If you are still struggling with your sin, let Yeshua show you the way out because guilt and shame don’t belong among God’s children. May the poem below refresh your soul. Thank you for reading; your support means much to me.

I count the stones that have been tossed at you.

Each one doesn’t change the way I see you.

One by one, they eventually flee.

Leaving you alone, hurting, and looking for me.

When these days come for you.

Beloved one, remember my love is true.

Hidden words written in the dirt.

Come to me, i will heal all your hurt.

These words I write for you.

Don’t change because my love is true.

~Crystal Sedillo~

A Gift from the Tomb

Do you struggle with identity issues or knowing your worth? For the longest time, I wrestled with Adonai. I wanted to know who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. Many times I was confused by organized religions philosophies, the role of women, and the structure of “church” I would lament with ear-piercing cries, Abba, who am I? Little did I know He had been shaping and molding me since birth. As I struggled with my identity, I stumbled upon a compelling verse in Luke 8. Yeshua visits a man at a tomb. This man had lost his identity to a legion of spirits. Each spirit told him who he was and leaving him feeling bound and without worth. Spirits aren’t always entities. They can be false doctrines, hateful speech, and unloving actions- religious beliefs. I find it interesting that Yeshua doesn’t banish this legion to the abyss but sends them into a herd of swine to drown themselves. I wonder where legion went after this? I felt that i should do a quick search on the word legion. The Latin root for legion is Legere which means choose, levy. Now let’s ponder this: choosing is to approve, seek out, and accept. Levy has a deeper meaning than I expected. Levy means to raise or lift. However, the root word of levy is levis, and it means light! Did you read that? It’s funny that it’s the root word, and we are to always get to the root of the problem. Light always finds a way through. Going back to the Scripture

38 The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with Yeshua. But Yeshua sent him away, saying, 39 “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” So he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole town all that Yeshua had done for him. ~Luke 8:38-39~

This man recently set free from all the bondages of the legion is begging to go with Yeshua, yet Yeshua says something extraordinary. “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” Yeshua didn’t offer him ordination or tell him he had to attend school before speaking. No, Yeshua says something many in our culture don’t. He tells the man to go and share all that God has done for him! What if we are already equipped to do what Adonai has called you to do? Who are we to argue with Yeshua’s understanding of readiness? When God delivers a package, it doesn’t look like expected. It doesn’t even closely resemble anything that we have been taught, and I love this! As I meditated on this verse, I heard the woman at the well. I pondered her and all her life’s choices. I then thought about the man at the tomb. What was his childhood like? Did he have parents that taught him the way of Adonai? What happened to him and the Samaritan woman that would make them ostracized from society? Then I thought about myself. I feel for these two because I can relate to them. I am not packaged as many would like, yet Adonai is the God that births- El Chawl. 

John 4 Yeshua is conversing with the Samaritan woman. She’s probably confused because the Jews in that time did not speak to the Samaritans. Not to mention she was a woman. Yet here Yeshua is breaking all the status quo of the day. Packaged differently, my friends. As the disciples approached:

28 So the woman left her water jar and went back to the town. She tells the people, 29 “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did! He couldn’t be the Messiah, could He?” 30 The people left the town and began coming to Him. John 4:28-30

The Samaritan woman was so filled with wonder and awe that the townspeople believed her words and left their town to see for themselves. I’m not sure what you have been taught about this woman, but I have heard she wasn’t the most loved in the town. Oh, the things we hear about others. Yet If we skip a few verses down, we read:

39 Many of the Samaritans from that town put their trust in Him because of the word of the woman testifying, “He told me everything I ever did!” 40 So when the Samaritans came to Him, they kept asking Him to stay with them. He stayed there two days, 41 and many more believed because of His word. 42 They kept telling the woman, “It’s no longer because of your words that we believe. We’ve heard for ourselves! Now we know that this really is the Savior of the world!” John 4:39-42

Would we have the excitement of this woman if Yeshua told us everything we ever did? I pray so. What do the man at the tomb and the woman at the well have in common? They didn’t fit the religious standards of the day. But that doesn’t matter to the King of Kings, now does it? Now I ask again, what if we are already equipped to do what we are called to do? There is no need for buildings or vast numbers to minister to the sick and broken. Ministry isn’t an address; it is wherever you put your feet. Ordination comes from heavenly hands. I pray we arise and do what we are called to do with tears in my eyes. Regardless of the packaging. Because many depend on us to do what Adonai has called us to do. We hold keys over death and the grave; Yeshua shows us how to use them.

Works cited:

legion:https://www.google.com/search?q=legion+word+meaning&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=legion+word+meaning&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i22i30j0i10i22i30j0i22i30l3j0i390.3126j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Levy: https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=levy

Levy:https://www.google.com/search?q=levy+definition&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=levy&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i199i433i465i512j0i433i512l2j46i433i512j0i512j46i175i199i433j69i60.3713j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8