I’ve been in the garden this season. I’m blessed to have a variety of produce fruiting in the midst of the high desert. A challenge it has been for sure, but life supports life. The garden teaches me more about myself and life’s journey than I could imagine. Who’s growing who, I ask myself as I ponder the weeds and seeds. The bees and hornets. The scorching sun and cool breeze. I’ve been journaling my season of growth through my garden experiences. I pray these ponderings bless you.

The beautiful and sweet morning glory is getting ready to bloom as the sunrise begins to tickle its blossoms. Such a beautiful flower, ready to open up with the slightest of light’s touch. With names like sunrise serenade, heavenly blue, and morning star, who wouldn’t want these growing in their garden! And yet, they have a dark side that many gardeners know all too well. To some growers, morning glories are welcome to vine wherever they choose, and to other gardeners, they mustn’t be planted or tolerated outside their designated space.

As lovely as they are, morning glories are considered invasive and poisonous to animals and small children. They drop seeds wherever they are and sprout up everywhere. If the seed pods that resemble mini grenades are eaten in large amounts, they can cause hallucination effects like LSD to little children, which can cause young ones to trip. How many seed bombs we drop makes all the difference. Do we drop Torah bombs with great zeal on the little ones? I hear an echo- Peter (little stone) feed my sheep. ~John 21:17~ I pray we don’t get grieved by being asked to feed more cautiously, more maturely.

They will take over garden beds and cause the other florals and fruit to bow lowly as they vine up the unsuspecting plant and spread out in usurping fashion. Sending out sweet blossoms to adore, yet silently suffocating those planted closest to them. I adore the heart-shaped leaves of the glories in the morning. Yet sometimes, I have to uproot them quickly to enjoy the fruit of my labor and allow the other seeds planted to grow to maturity. I have to look past the various hues of lovely and remember that even though I love the idea of a wild garden, a food forest growing together, even in the wildest of growth, there is a natural order of things. Mourning before Morning. Do we see ourselves in the fullness of the Master of lights?

My sunflower being overtaken by a morning glory vine.

I ponder these things as I pull out the invasive blossoms from my cucumbers and sunflower patch. I look at the vines taking over my flower garden and wonder, why must you shine more brightly? Why must I? Has this mourning glory caused the morning’s glory to fade? We can be like these blossoms, they are beautiful and welcome, yet if not kept in order, they will slowly take over everything sowed. Not allowing others to grow because we must be the morning’s glory. The morning light that is too bright or unyielding can bring mourning to those still learning to establish roots and take in the Son’s rays.

Yet, on the flip side, these lovelies, when appropriately trained, can provide ground cover for cracked soil and vine-up dead trees bringing new life! They can give a sweet message with every heart-shaped leaf and open flower to the weary at heart. Life is a contranym. We learn best when we balance the light and darkness in our lives. So much this little garden of mine is teaching me. Everyone has their place in this world. Knowing who we are and our purpose makes all the difference. May we grow where we are planted and vine where we are needed. May our heart leaves mend lost souls and bring lovely shades of blossoms to the faint-eyed.

I love you more than me

As I write this blog, I hope a sweet release comes upon the prophets of Adonai. The time to go forth and function in your role is here. May we remain humble in this journey. For those reading who are not prophets or don’t believe the office still exists, I ask you to read with unbiased eyes and a heart to understand. Just because the prophet is misunderstood doesn’t mean they don’t exist. There are many immature prophets in modern times; please don’t let that taint your view. We can’t erase people just because of a misunderstanding of the Word.

Around five years ago, I became pregnant with my sixth child. We had five boys, and this pregnancy was a surprise. In my mind, I was finished having children, oh but Abba had other plans. I had desperately wanted a daughter right after our first child was born. I watched as the sonogram revealed another sweet boy to add to our tribe with each pregnancy. I was filled with gratitude for these boys of mine; they stole my heart every time, and yet a longing for a daughter’s soft and gentle presence. We finally received a precious daughter, and I remember hearing the Father name her, “Lila Rose, a sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place.” I knew she would bring much joy and laughter to the lives she touched; feeling her excitement to be alive in my belly was confirmation. Let’s fast forward to the present time. She has truly lived up to her name in this short time. I was telling my sweet Lila Rose that I love her. She looked at me and said words that stopped me in my tracks. I love you more than me, Mom.

Her words unlocked doors I was unaware of in my soul. I pondered many things. I found my mind thinking about prophets. I thought about these fiery men and women—their words and how we see them. I felt a sting in my heart. Tears rolled down my face, dropped to the ground, and quickly disappeared into the dirt—the most misunderstood role in the body. Yeshua was the spirit of prophecy and notably one of the most hated men to walk the Earth. Yeshua wept. He still prays on our behalf. As the tears stopped, a change came over me; I felt freedom and warmth. I understood the call and felt the journey. A sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place had me looking to the sky. But why? Because I love you more than me. 

10 Then I fell down at his feet and worshiped him. But he said to me, “See that you do not do that—for I am only a fellow servant with you and your brothers and sisters who hold to the testimony of Yeshua. Worship God! For the testimony of Yeshua is the Spirit of Prophesy.” Revelation 19:10

41 As He drew near and saw Jerusalem, He wept over her, Luke 19:41

20 “I pray not on behalf of these only, but also for those who believe in Me through their message, 21 that they all may be one. Just as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You, so also may they be one in Us, so the world may believe that You sent Me. 22 The glory that You have given to Me I have given to them, that they may be one just as We are one— 23 I in them and You in Me—that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me and loved them as You loved Me. John 17:20-23

As we study the prophets, we have this vision of rough men who have knives for fingers and mantles as sharp as sickles, ready to send us to the depths of Sheol with their condemnation. Their words penetrate callused hearts and awaken anger in men they didn’t know they had. We wrestle with their preconceived arrogance and judgmental views. Yet, in secret places, they weep. They are pleading for the rejection to cease so their voice may be heard, may changes occur from the heart, is the thought. Begging mercy, for we know not what we do, Abba. Have pity, Adonai, for the house of Jacob is small. Then suddenly, we hear go out and speak to my children- an echo of daunting words found in the prophet’s soul. As the prophet has knelt down before Adonai, a humbled mess, they now must stand firm, like adamant, and speak the heart of Elohim to those they were praying for, and this includes themselves. Knowing full well they are just as sinful as the next. Having endured the message’s trial, they must now be tested after delivery. This cycle goes on until the prophet sleeps and is no more. But why? Because we learn to love you more than me.

60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” After he said this, he died. Acts 7:60

3 “Adonai Elohim, please pardon! How can Jacob stand, for he is small?”

 Adonai relented concerning this. “It shall not be,” Adonai said. Amos 7:3

The prophet then and now is shaped and built to love so fiercely and so strongly that they are more than willing to lose their lives, friendships, titles, and more if it means seed of hope and resurrection is planted in the hearts of those they just pierced. If there were ever a walking contradiction, that is a prophet. They appear one way to humanity, but Abba knows who they are deep inside. Eventually, they stop trying to explain their identity and walk in it. Knowing the losses they suffered and the new ones to come, they make their faces like flint after the sorrows roll away. Prophets are not done away with, nor are they waiting to return. We are here, learning and enduring. Prophets need to find other prophets to learn with, grow, and mature. In Scripture, they had the school of the prophet. We need to learn from seasoned prophets balanced in all of Scripture, Torah, and the New Testament. Without this balance, prophets are not mature enough to speak with circumcised tongues. I would like to invite you to read more on the prophets and the office of the prophet at my dear friends website Tekoa Also, if you haven’t already check out our YouTube channel for prophets: Elijah’s Prophetic Cup.

If this blog has ministered to you, reach out. Let’s connect, prophets need each other. This walk is not for the faint of heart or the immature. As iron sharpens iron, may we do so in the counsel of the wise and balanced. May the prophets of Adonai come forth with circumcised lips and hearts refined, like a sweet-smelling aroma in a dark place, because we have learned to love you more than me.

9 As ointment and perfume gladden the heart,

so the sweetness of one’s friend comes from his sincere counsel.  

17 As iron sharpens iron,

so a person sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:9,17

Behold all you who kindle a fire

“Who among you fears Adonai? Who hears the voice of His servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the Name of Adonai and lean on his God.

Behold, all you who kindle a fire, encircling yourselves with firebrands. Walk in the light of your fire and among the brands you have lit. This you will have from My hand: you will lie down in torment.” Isaiah 50:10-11

Isaiah has some pretty powerful words throughout his writings. This Prophet had experienced it all. Can you imagine your face resembling a flint? The trials Adonai’s prophets endure delivering words to a rebellious house- oh Israel, open your eyes! Abba has protocols He uses when His children misbehave. Prophets are called Adonai’s emergency men for a reason. What happens when you combine trained assassins with a degree in combat medics? You get a prophet shaped and molded for a mission that requires death but with the hope of resurrection! In our modern times, we come across people with titles and accolades, some apostles, others prophets, all just mere men. But how many of these titles hold up to the firebrand of YHWH? Remember, the Prophet Jeremiah was knit together in the womb. This is a divine ordination, not bought at the nearest school of the Prophet. There’s nothing wrong with a title; we all need them to identify each other. It becomes a problem when the title isn’t woven together with humility—eyes that see the goodness of Torah, all of Scripture.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

 I mentioned earlier the protocols that our God has set in place. If we go to Scripture, we see different protocols for various things. Like any good parent, our Abba’s desire is for His children to listen and obey. Let’s put our gaze upon the protocols of unruly children. 

“Hear this, you priests! Pay attention, you Israelites! Listen, royal house! This judgment is against you: You have been a snare at Mizpah, a net spread out on Tabor. The rebels are knee-deep in slaughter. I will discipline all of them. I know all about Ephraim; Israel is not hidden from me. Ephraim, you have now turned to prostitution; Israel is corrupt. Hosea 5:1-3

“They do not cry to me from the heart” Hosea 7:14

“The Lord takes his place in court; he rises to judge the people. The Lord enters into judgment against the elders and leaders of his people: “It is you who have ruined my vineyard; the plunder from the poor is in your houses. What do you mean by crushing my people and grinding the faces of the poor?” declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty.” Isaiah 3: 13-15

“This people draw near with their mouths and honor me with their lips, while their hearts are far from Me, their fear of Me is a commandment of men learned by rote” Isaiah 29:13

“For fools speak folly, their hearts are bent on evil, They practice ungodliness and spread error concerning the Lord; the hungry they leave empty and from the thirsty they withhold water. Scoundrels use wicked methods, they make up evil schemes to destroy the poor with lies, even when the plea of the needy is just. But the noble make noble plans, and by noble deeds they stand.” Isaiah 32:6-8

 Our hearts need the grief of the prophets. To feel the heaviness when we see those that lead people away from His Torah, God’s words. We have many immature prophets among us today. Many speaking words that kindle false fires. Prophets with faces of flint grieve over this. Pick any social media site, and you will find those that prophesy sweet-tasting treats for God’s house. Candy-coated lies and prosperity leak from their mouths. Yet, all the witnesses in Scripture prophesied refining and purification before the healing of Adonai took place. When did the office of the Prophet become a place to get your fortune told, how successful will you be this coming year?

If we take a look at Noah; before the renewal and healing came forth, the judgment and purification of the people had to happen. Yah’s ways, not ours. We need to reach a place of no-nonsense. Being an ambassador of YHWH’s light should not be taken lightly. Should we put wool upon people’s eyes? What good does sugar coating a stern message do? It only causes us not to be prepared. I do believe beautiful things are coming our way. Captives set free. Blind gaining their sight. Yokes falling to the ground. This is the healing Scripture speaks about. We need the voice of Adonai’s emergency men to bring the correct words of kindling. I want to leave you with five characteristics of an immature prophet and a seasoned prophet. I pray this blesses you, and my hope is for refinement to spread through God’s house. May we come forth like gold—United in Adonai’s ways and words, not our own.

“Yet He knows the way I have taken; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10

5 Characteristics of an immature prophet:

  1. False humility- hasn’t been refined by Adonai’s fire
  2. A love of money, materials
  3. Seeks accolades/titles of men
  4. Messages don’t preach repentance, don’t bring the hearts of the people back to the Father 
  5. They don’t read/study all Scripture- The Torah and New Testament

Added bonuses:

  • Seeks always to bring a new word, new revelation, personal forecasts
  • Prophecies out of their own heart, their words don’t line up with Scripture.
  • Extreme manifestations of religious type experiences
  • Charges for the gifting/anointing promises to teach and ordain you as a prophet or apostle. This is not the same as mentorship/passing the mantle

5 Characteristics of a mature prophet:

  1. Walks in humility- has been crushed many times
  2. Can not be bought- loyal to Elohim/God
  3. Fears Adonai more than man
  4. Brings words of correction/conviction with hope
  5. Reads/studies all of Scripture- The Torah and New Testament

Added bonuses

  • Has a deep love and compassion for the widows, orphans, and the broken-hearted.
  • Despises injustices, false words that divide, mislead and give false hope
  • A close relationship with Adonai and the Ruach/Holy Spirit over traditions of religion
  • Always brings a word or action that points you back to the Father

Shabbat’s Delightful Cries

Delight (something or someone that gives) great pleasure, satisfaction or happiness:

Shabbat has been on my mind for a while. I have been pondering and searching for the meaning of delighting in Shabbat. We are told that Shabbat is a delight, and I agree. But there are times that the meaning of delight is lost for me and a new sense appears. Or at least a new perception or facet of this set apart day. I’m a busy homeschooling mother of six who helps manage a small family business and ministry needs Quiet and relaxing rarely show their faces in my day to day life. I’m a firm believer that Adonai’s set apart times are unique and faceted, just like Him. The way that we set these days apart will not look the same as the next person. Isn’t that beautiful, though!? Our Elohim (God) is not a cookie-cutter God. I’m willing to bet that all the tribes that camped around the Tabernacle and eventually in Jerusalem, scattered around Israel and the world, did not keep Adonai’s feasts the same. But they did ensure to stay within the boundaries of the Torah when doing so. Shouldn’t we mimic this model of freely observing set apart times? I recently had a Shabbat experience that reshaped my vision of delight. I woke up like every other day, rolling out of bed, messy-haired, ready for my coffee. Prepared to wrestle with my own ideas of Shabbat and keeping it. I thought about an old friend of mine and wondered how she was doing. As my day progressed, I kept thinking about her. I couldn’t shake it. I knew I had to reach out to her, and I’m glad I did. She responded, and I sensed she needed someone to talk with. Sometimes people need us to take space and sit with them. We ended up getting together and chatting. She told me how she had been crying out to God the previous night. Her tears were cradled in His hands. We wept together on Shabbat. We laughed and felt many emotions that didn’t look like delight to those observing. We ministered to each other in unique ways. As our meeting ended, I realized I had found what I was searching for. 

Delight yourself in Adonai,

and He will give you the requests of your heart. Psalm 37:4 TLV

I found delight wrapped like a comforter in a woman pleading mercy from Adonai. Before my heart’s requests could be fulfilled, I realized that I had to align myself with Adonai’s heart. My heart’s desires changed once I opened up to Abba’s delight. My friend isn’t Torah observant; that doesn’t matter to Elohim. Why should it be to us? But she knows God, and He sees and knows her. My day wasn’t quiet and relaxing. It was full of emotions and pleadings for Adonai to send those who would help her in her time of need. To help me in my desperate need of understanding. Yeshua healed on Shabbat; he fed the hungry, clothed the needy, loved the hurting. Yeshua fulfilled it all in the natural and spiritual sense, especially on Shabbat. My delight was and is found in doing the same. We can’t worship Shabbat. We can’t be idle on the needs of others. When we do, we are breaking Torah. Does spiritual healing and feeding cease because it’s Shabbat? I’m not suggesting we stop observing Shabbat in our own ways; I’m simply sharing how multi-faceted we each are. We should not feel shame for thinking we broke the commandments if we were ministering or being ministered to. Yeshua showed us the true meaning of Shabbat. There’s freedom when the yoke of man is peeled away—showing us the delight of Adonai. Healing took place for me this Shabbat. I felt gut-wrenching sorrow intertwined with a deep-seated love. I needed ministering too. I needed to be transparent and down to earth with Abbas’s daughter. Set apart doesn’t mean too holy for any earthly good. I’m starting to believe that set apart is being real, raw, and vulnerable about who Yeshua is in our lives. Our struggles and victories. This is what all people need, a real connection—no façade of being perfect but genuine humanness of learning to be like our Messiah. I think to myself, what will I do now to keep this new found flame ablaze? I found a treasure and I don’t want to loose it. There are many people hurting in this world. How can I use my gifts, breath and self to sit with them? How about you? I pray your Shabbats are delightful and that you don’t struggle to live up to some faulty image, but the image of Yeshua. However that may look for you in your journey.

Works cited:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/delight

Words in the Dirt

I want to dedicate this short writing and poem to all of God’s children who are hurting and feeling broken; due to the authoritative figures in their lives, whether parents, spouses, family members, religious figures, or government officials. God sees you. 

But Yeshua went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, He came again into the Temple. All the people were coming to Him, and He sat down and began to teach them.

The Torah scholars and Pharisees bring in a woman who had been caught in adultery. After putting her in the middle, they say to Yeshua, “Teacher, this Woman has been caught in the act of committing adultery. In the Torah, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?” Now they were saying this to trap Him, so that they would have grounds to accuse Him.

But Yeshua knelt down and started writing in the dirt with His finger. When they kept asking Him, He stood up and said, “The sinless one among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then He knelt down again and continued writing on the ground.

Now when they heard, they began to leave, one by one, the oldest ones first, until Yeshua was left alone with the Woman in the middle. 10 Straightening up, Yeshua said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

11 “No one, Sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Yeshua said. “Go, and sin no more.”

As you read John 8:1-11, I want you to place yourself in this Woman’s shoes. For a moment, let’s take the gender away and focus on grief and shame. In God’s kingdom, men and women are spoken of as the bride. I am not condoning transgenderism here. I am simply trying to share something hidden in this verse. The authorities place this “sinful woman” in the middle of a large group over the congregation. When I read this, I teared up because I have been in this situation. Aren’t we all this Woman? 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

Yeshua was showing these authorities, and they are no different from the Woman. What grieved my soul was verse 6- they wanted to trap Yeshua. They wanted to stone, behead, crucify him. We don’t need sharpened rocks aimed at our broken-down souls; we need Torah and mercy together. Don’t you find it interesting that the authorities immediately knew that they couldn’t cast a stone from the oldest to the least, they all left. Didn’t Moses say they could? Ah, the deeper things in Torah shine through because Yeshua was the light. Please don’t let men’s words cause you to stumble and fall more; we all sin—even those behind podiums and microphones. If you are still struggling with your sin, let Yeshua show you the way out because guilt and shame don’t belong among God’s children. May the poem below refresh your soul. Thank you for reading; your support means much to me.

I count the stones that have been tossed at you.

Each one doesn’t change the way I see you.

One by one, they eventually flee.

Leaving you alone, hurting, and looking for me.

When these days come for you.

Beloved one, remember my love is true.

Hidden words written in the dirt.

Come to me, i will heal all your hurt.

These words I write for you.

Don’t change because my love is true.

~Crystal Sedillo~

A Gift from the Tomb

Do you struggle with identity issues or knowing your worth? For the longest time, I wrestled with Adonai. I wanted to know who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. Many times I was confused by organized religions philosophies, the role of women, and the structure of “church” I would lament with ear-piercing cries, Abba, who am I? Little did I know He had been shaping and molding me since birth. As I struggled with my identity, I stumbled upon a compelling verse in Luke 8. Yeshua visits a man at a tomb. This man had lost his identity to a legion of spirits. Each spirit told him who he was and leaving him feeling bound and without worth. Spirits aren’t always entities. They can be false doctrines, hateful speech, and unloving actions- religious beliefs. I find it interesting that Yeshua doesn’t banish this legion to the abyss but sends them into a herd of swine to drown themselves. I wonder where legion went after this? I felt that i should do a quick search on the word legion. The Latin root for legion is Legere which means choose, levy. Now let’s ponder this: choosing is to approve, seek out, and accept. Levy has a deeper meaning than I expected. Levy means to raise or lift. However, the root word of levy is levis, and it means light! Did you read that? It’s funny that it’s the root word, and we are to always get to the root of the problem. Light always finds a way through. Going back to the Scripture

38 The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with Yeshua. But Yeshua sent him away, saying, 39 “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” So he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole town all that Yeshua had done for him. ~Luke 8:38-39~

This man recently set free from all the bondages of the legion is begging to go with Yeshua, yet Yeshua says something extraordinary. “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” Yeshua didn’t offer him ordination or tell him he had to attend school before speaking. No, Yeshua says something many in our culture don’t. He tells the man to go and share all that God has done for him! What if we are already equipped to do what Adonai has called you to do? Who are we to argue with Yeshua’s understanding of readiness? When God delivers a package, it doesn’t look like expected. It doesn’t even closely resemble anything that we have been taught, and I love this! As I meditated on this verse, I heard the woman at the well. I pondered her and all her life’s choices. I then thought about the man at the tomb. What was his childhood like? Did he have parents that taught him the way of Adonai? What happened to him and the Samaritan woman that would make them ostracized from society? Then I thought about myself. I feel for these two because I can relate to them. I am not packaged as many would like, yet Adonai is the God that births- El Chawl. 

John 4 Yeshua is conversing with the Samaritan woman. She’s probably confused because the Jews in that time did not speak to the Samaritans. Not to mention she was a woman. Yet here Yeshua is breaking all the status quo of the day. Packaged differently, my friends. As the disciples approached:

28 So the woman left her water jar and went back to the town. She tells the people, 29 “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did! He couldn’t be the Messiah, could He?” 30 The people left the town and began coming to Him. John 4:28-30

The Samaritan woman was so filled with wonder and awe that the townspeople believed her words and left their town to see for themselves. I’m not sure what you have been taught about this woman, but I have heard she wasn’t the most loved in the town. Oh, the things we hear about others. Yet If we skip a few verses down, we read:

39 Many of the Samaritans from that town put their trust in Him because of the word of the woman testifying, “He told me everything I ever did!” 40 So when the Samaritans came to Him, they kept asking Him to stay with them. He stayed there two days, 41 and many more believed because of His word. 42 They kept telling the woman, “It’s no longer because of your words that we believe. We’ve heard for ourselves! Now we know that this really is the Savior of the world!” John 4:39-42

Would we have the excitement of this woman if Yeshua told us everything we ever did? I pray so. What do the man at the tomb and the woman at the well have in common? They didn’t fit the religious standards of the day. But that doesn’t matter to the King of Kings, now does it? Now I ask again, what if we are already equipped to do what we are called to do? There is no need for buildings or vast numbers to minister to the sick and broken. Ministry isn’t an address; it is wherever you put your feet. Ordination comes from heavenly hands. I pray we arise and do what we are called to do with tears in my eyes. Regardless of the packaging. Because many depend on us to do what Adonai has called us to do. We hold keys over death and the grave; Yeshua shows us how to use them.

Works cited:

legion:https://www.google.com/search?q=legion+word+meaning&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=legion+word+meaning&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i22i30j0i10i22i30j0i22i30l3j0i390.3126j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Levy: https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=levy

Levy:https://www.google.com/search?q=levy+definition&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=levy&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i199i433i465i512j0i433i512l2j46i433i512j0i512j46i175i199i433j69i60.3713j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8