A Sunflowers Parable

Velvet Queen Sunflower

If there were ever a flower to showcase my soul, 

the sweet sunflower is where I would go.

Allowing the sweet morning dew to

saturate me, I want all of you.

Your glorious waters fall from above,

fill me with your love.

With its various colors and luminous rays of light,

in its youth turning its head to find what is bright.

With maturity it has no reason to search,

no longer needing to chase or be found.

For the light is bound in everything around,

make me like the sunflower.

At my core there is a light.

One must search the different shades of being,

from the outside there is a mix of golden hues 

a depth of mystery.

Within my foundation is my life’s own history.

Written on my petals you will find

life’s mistakes and empty tombs.

Precious oil and rejuvenated blooms.

Study these shades and you will see

everything that has been, is written in me.

Evening Sun Sunflowers

I’ve been in the garden this season. I’m blessed to have a variety of produce fruiting in the midst of the high desert. A challenge it has been for sure, but life supports life. The garden teaches me more about myself and life’s journey than I could imagine. Who’s growing who, I ask myself as I ponder the weeds and seeds. The bees and hornets. The scorching sun and cool breeze. I’ve been journaling my season of growth through my garden experiences. I pray these ponderings bless you.

The beautiful and sweet morning glory is getting ready to bloom as the sunrise begins to tickle its blossoms. Such a beautiful flower, ready to open up with the slightest of light’s touch. With names like sunrise serenade, heavenly blue, and morning star, who wouldn’t want these growing in their garden! And yet, they have a dark side that many gardeners know all too well. To some growers, morning glories are welcome to vine wherever they choose, and to other gardeners, they mustn’t be planted or tolerated outside their designated space.

As lovely as they are, morning glories are considered invasive and poisonous to animals and small children. They drop seeds wherever they are and sprout up everywhere. If the seed pods that resemble mini grenades are eaten in large amounts, they can cause hallucination effects like LSD to little children, which can cause young ones to trip. How many seed bombs we drop makes all the difference. Do we drop Torah bombs with great zeal on the little ones? I hear an echo- Peter (little stone) feed my sheep. ~John 21:17~ I pray we don’t get grieved by being asked to feed more cautiously, more maturely.

They will take over garden beds and cause the other florals and fruit to bow lowly as they vine up the unsuspecting plant and spread out in usurping fashion. Sending out sweet blossoms to adore, yet silently suffocating those planted closest to them. I adore the heart-shaped leaves of the glories in the morning. Yet sometimes, I have to uproot them quickly to enjoy the fruit of my labor and allow the other seeds planted to grow to maturity. I have to look past the various hues of lovely and remember that even though I love the idea of a wild garden, a food forest growing together, even in the wildest of growth, there is a natural order of things. Mourning before Morning. Do we see ourselves in the fullness of the Master of lights?

My sunflower being overtaken by a morning glory vine.

I ponder these things as I pull out the invasive blossoms from my cucumbers and sunflower patch. I look at the vines taking over my flower garden and wonder, why must you shine more brightly? Why must I? Has this mourning glory caused the morning’s glory to fade? We can be like these blossoms, they are beautiful and welcome, yet if not kept in order, they will slowly take over everything sowed. Not allowing others to grow because we must be the morning’s glory. The morning light that is too bright or unyielding can bring mourning to those still learning to establish roots and take in the Son’s rays.

Yet, on the flip side, these lovelies, when appropriately trained, can provide ground cover for cracked soil and vine-up dead trees bringing new life! They can give a sweet message with every heart-shaped leaf and open flower to the weary at heart. Life is a contranym. We learn best when we balance the light and darkness in our lives. So much this little garden of mine is teaching me. Everyone has their place in this world. Knowing who we are and our purpose makes all the difference. May we grow where we are planted and vine where we are needed. May our heart leaves mend lost souls and bring lovely shades of blossoms to the faint-eyed.

Shabbat’s Delightful Cries

Delight (something or someone that gives) great pleasure, satisfaction or happiness:

Shabbat has been on my mind for a while. I have been pondering and searching for the meaning of delighting in Shabbat. We are told that Shabbat is a delight, and I agree. But there are times that the meaning of delight is lost for me and a new sense appears. Or at least a new perception or facet of this set apart day. I’m a busy homeschooling mother of six who helps manage a small family business and ministry needs Quiet and relaxing rarely show their faces in my day to day life. I’m a firm believer that Adonai’s set apart times are unique and faceted, just like Him. The way that we set these days apart will not look the same as the next person. Isn’t that beautiful, though!? Our Elohim (God) is not a cookie-cutter God. I’m willing to bet that all the tribes that camped around the Tabernacle and eventually in Jerusalem, scattered around Israel and the world, did not keep Adonai’s feasts the same. But they did ensure to stay within the boundaries of the Torah when doing so. Shouldn’t we mimic this model of freely observing set apart times? I recently had a Shabbat experience that reshaped my vision of delight. I woke up like every other day, rolling out of bed, messy-haired, ready for my coffee. Prepared to wrestle with my own ideas of Shabbat and keeping it. I thought about an old friend of mine and wondered how she was doing. As my day progressed, I kept thinking about her. I couldn’t shake it. I knew I had to reach out to her, and I’m glad I did. She responded, and I sensed she needed someone to talk with. Sometimes people need us to take space and sit with them. We ended up getting together and chatting. She told me how she had been crying out to God the previous night. Her tears were cradled in His hands. We wept together on Shabbat. We laughed and felt many emotions that didn’t look like delight to those observing. We ministered to each other in unique ways. As our meeting ended, I realized I had found what I was searching for. 

Delight yourself in Adonai,

and He will give you the requests of your heart. Psalm 37:4 TLV

I found delight wrapped like a comforter in a woman pleading mercy from Adonai. Before my heart’s requests could be fulfilled, I realized that I had to align myself with Adonai’s heart. My heart’s desires changed once I opened up to Abba’s delight. My friend isn’t Torah observant; that doesn’t matter to Elohim. Why should it be to us? But she knows God, and He sees and knows her. My day wasn’t quiet and relaxing. It was full of emotions and pleadings for Adonai to send those who would help her in her time of need. To help me in my desperate need of understanding. Yeshua healed on Shabbat; he fed the hungry, clothed the needy, loved the hurting. Yeshua fulfilled it all in the natural and spiritual sense, especially on Shabbat. My delight was and is found in doing the same. We can’t worship Shabbat. We can’t be idle on the needs of others. When we do, we are breaking Torah. Does spiritual healing and feeding cease because it’s Shabbat? I’m not suggesting we stop observing Shabbat in our own ways; I’m simply sharing how multi-faceted we each are. We should not feel shame for thinking we broke the commandments if we were ministering or being ministered to. Yeshua showed us the true meaning of Shabbat. There’s freedom when the yoke of man is peeled away—showing us the delight of Adonai. Healing took place for me this Shabbat. I felt gut-wrenching sorrow intertwined with a deep-seated love. I needed ministering too. I needed to be transparent and down to earth with Abbas’s daughter. Set apart doesn’t mean too holy for any earthly good. I’m starting to believe that set apart is being real, raw, and vulnerable about who Yeshua is in our lives. Our struggles and victories. This is what all people need, a real connection—no façade of being perfect but genuine humanness of learning to be like our Messiah. I think to myself, what will I do now to keep this new found flame ablaze? I found a treasure and I don’t want to loose it. There are many people hurting in this world. How can I use my gifts, breath and self to sit with them? How about you? I pray your Shabbats are delightful and that you don’t struggle to live up to some faulty image, but the image of Yeshua. However that may look for you in your journey.

Works cited:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/delight

Spiritual Shekels and Weightier Matters

 A shekel is a form of currency and means “to weigh”. In biblical days they would pull out their scales and weigh out gold and silver. Modern times we use money and coins to purchase many things. Scales and weights aren’t used. What about spiritual shekels and scales?  I do think we can still give the shekel asked for as an offering to the Lord. These shekels are weighed by our actions and character. The building up of one another. In times of panic or distress the healing hands are needed. The soothing words and yes even the words of correction. To honor one another and think about the well-being of our elders, the little ones and the ill. We all need to be measured by honest scales. I’ve been reminded of this verse from Revelation often this week. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Rev 3:18

No one escapes the burn. However, it is our Elohim that is the consuming fire! Although painful, it is necessary, the cost increases with maturity but so does our value. Does our faith match up to honest scales. Sometimes I fall short. But there is grace for those that get back up after a fall. Faith increases when we are humbled, along with compassion and understanding; empathy and everyone’s favorite- long suffering. Abba does not like corrupt measures and there’s no room for fools gold. Dishonest scales are an abomination to the LORD, but an accurate weight is His delight. When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:1-2

Accurate weights require humility. Wisdom follows after. I pray we melt down the golden calves of our generations. Fool’s gold.  It’s about the weightier matters of the heart. May we start to seek our God in humility with whole hearted devotion. As we prepare to help turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to their fathers, I pray that we can come together in unity and make such a profound impact on the struggling, weary and lost that there is no way to deny that our Elohim lives! He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” Malachi 4:6

Shabbat Shalom everyone.

Words in the Dirt

I want to dedicate this short writing and poem to all of God’s children who are hurting and feeling broken; due to the authoritative figures in their lives, whether parents, spouses, family members, religious figures, or government officials. God sees you. 

But Yeshua went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, He came again into the Temple. All the people were coming to Him, and He sat down and began to teach them.

The Torah scholars and Pharisees bring in a woman who had been caught in adultery. After putting her in the middle, they say to Yeshua, “Teacher, this Woman has been caught in the act of committing adultery. In the Torah, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?” Now they were saying this to trap Him, so that they would have grounds to accuse Him.

But Yeshua knelt down and started writing in the dirt with His finger. When they kept asking Him, He stood up and said, “The sinless one among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then He knelt down again and continued writing on the ground.

Now when they heard, they began to leave, one by one, the oldest ones first, until Yeshua was left alone with the Woman in the middle. 10 Straightening up, Yeshua said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

11 “No one, Sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Yeshua said. “Go, and sin no more.”

As you read John 8:1-11, I want you to place yourself in this Woman’s shoes. For a moment, let’s take the gender away and focus on grief and shame. In God’s kingdom, men and women are spoken of as the bride. I am not condoning transgenderism here. I am simply trying to share something hidden in this verse. The authorities place this “sinful woman” in the middle of a large group over the congregation. When I read this, I teared up because I have been in this situation. Aren’t we all this Woman? 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

Yeshua was showing these authorities, and they are no different from the Woman. What grieved my soul was verse 6- they wanted to trap Yeshua. They wanted to stone, behead, crucify him. We don’t need sharpened rocks aimed at our broken-down souls; we need Torah and mercy together. Don’t you find it interesting that the authorities immediately knew that they couldn’t cast a stone from the oldest to the least, they all left. Didn’t Moses say they could? Ah, the deeper things in Torah shine through because Yeshua was the light. Please don’t let men’s words cause you to stumble and fall more; we all sin—even those behind podiums and microphones. If you are still struggling with your sin, let Yeshua show you the way out because guilt and shame don’t belong among God’s children. May the poem below refresh your soul. Thank you for reading; your support means much to me.

I count the stones that have been tossed at you.

Each one doesn’t change the way I see you.

One by one, they eventually flee.

Leaving you alone, hurting, and looking for me.

When these days come for you.

Beloved one, remember my love is true.

Hidden words written in the dirt.

Come to me, i will heal all your hurt.

These words I write for you.

Don’t change because my love is true.

~Crystal Sedillo~

A Gift from the Tomb

Do you struggle with identity issues or knowing your worth? For the longest time, I wrestled with Adonai. I wanted to know who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. Many times I was confused by organized religions philosophies, the role of women, and the structure of “church” I would lament with ear-piercing cries, Abba, who am I? Little did I know He had been shaping and molding me since birth. As I struggled with my identity, I stumbled upon a compelling verse in Luke 8. Yeshua visits a man at a tomb. This man had lost his identity to a legion of spirits. Each spirit told him who he was and leaving him feeling bound and without worth. Spirits aren’t always entities. They can be false doctrines, hateful speech, and unloving actions- religious beliefs. I find it interesting that Yeshua doesn’t banish this legion to the abyss but sends them into a herd of swine to drown themselves. I wonder where legion went after this? I felt that i should do a quick search on the word legion. The Latin root for legion is Legere which means choose, levy. Now let’s ponder this: choosing is to approve, seek out, and accept. Levy has a deeper meaning than I expected. Levy means to raise or lift. However, the root word of levy is levis, and it means light! Did you read that? It’s funny that it’s the root word, and we are to always get to the root of the problem. Light always finds a way through. Going back to the Scripture

38 The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with Yeshua. But Yeshua sent him away, saying, 39 “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” So he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole town all that Yeshua had done for him. ~Luke 8:38-39~

This man recently set free from all the bondages of the legion is begging to go with Yeshua, yet Yeshua says something extraordinary. “Return to your home, and describe all that God has done for you.” Yeshua didn’t offer him ordination or tell him he had to attend school before speaking. No, Yeshua says something many in our culture don’t. He tells the man to go and share all that God has done for him! What if we are already equipped to do what Adonai has called you to do? Who are we to argue with Yeshua’s understanding of readiness? When God delivers a package, it doesn’t look like expected. It doesn’t even closely resemble anything that we have been taught, and I love this! As I meditated on this verse, I heard the woman at the well. I pondered her and all her life’s choices. I then thought about the man at the tomb. What was his childhood like? Did he have parents that taught him the way of Adonai? What happened to him and the Samaritan woman that would make them ostracized from society? Then I thought about myself. I feel for these two because I can relate to them. I am not packaged as many would like, yet Adonai is the God that births- El Chawl. 

John 4 Yeshua is conversing with the Samaritan woman. She’s probably confused because the Jews in that time did not speak to the Samaritans. Not to mention she was a woman. Yet here Yeshua is breaking all the status quo of the day. Packaged differently, my friends. As the disciples approached:

28 So the woman left her water jar and went back to the town. She tells the people, 29 “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did! He couldn’t be the Messiah, could He?” 30 The people left the town and began coming to Him. John 4:28-30

The Samaritan woman was so filled with wonder and awe that the townspeople believed her words and left their town to see for themselves. I’m not sure what you have been taught about this woman, but I have heard she wasn’t the most loved in the town. Oh, the things we hear about others. Yet If we skip a few verses down, we read:

39 Many of the Samaritans from that town put their trust in Him because of the word of the woman testifying, “He told me everything I ever did!” 40 So when the Samaritans came to Him, they kept asking Him to stay with them. He stayed there two days, 41 and many more believed because of His word. 42 They kept telling the woman, “It’s no longer because of your words that we believe. We’ve heard for ourselves! Now we know that this really is the Savior of the world!” John 4:39-42

Would we have the excitement of this woman if Yeshua told us everything we ever did? I pray so. What do the man at the tomb and the woman at the well have in common? They didn’t fit the religious standards of the day. But that doesn’t matter to the King of Kings, now does it? Now I ask again, what if we are already equipped to do what we are called to do? There is no need for buildings or vast numbers to minister to the sick and broken. Ministry isn’t an address; it is wherever you put your feet. Ordination comes from heavenly hands. I pray we arise and do what we are called to do with tears in my eyes. Regardless of the packaging. Because many depend on us to do what Adonai has called us to do. We hold keys over death and the grave; Yeshua shows us how to use them.

Works cited:

legion:https://www.google.com/search?q=legion+word+meaning&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=legion+word+meaning&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i22i30j0i10i22i30j0i22i30l3j0i390.3126j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Levy: https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=levy

Levy:https://www.google.com/search?q=levy+definition&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS945US945&oq=levy&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i199i433i465i512j0i433i512l2j46i433i512j0i512j46i175i199i433j69i60.3713j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8